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Greyhound Revolt

Posted in Humor

Calling on all greyhounds under 6 years of age. This is a revolution by fur kids against Moms who buy us orthopedic beds, implying that we’re old. I’m outraged. Here’s what happened.

Mom left for a dental appointment and various and sundry shopping chores around 10:00 a.m. this morning – September 3 2009. Around 2:15 p.m., and I might add, one hour late for my second meal, she breezes in the door, all smiles, carrying this large square-shaped doggie bed. “Beamer, this is your new bed.” Mm, a new bed? We have at least eight doggie beds in the house, why do I need a new one . The two I sleep on are very satisfactory, thank you very much. Mom picks up my two favorite doggie beds and replaces them with this ‘thing.’ Never asked me what I felt or thought, just dumped the ‘thing’ in my space alongside her bed. Well I fixed her plan. I plopped down on the doggie bed on the other side of her bed. At least it smelled familiar, though Ice, my doggie roommate was not pleased.

“Hey, that’s my bed.”

A little doggie negotiation was in order.

“Look Ice, you usually sleep with Mom on her bed, so I’m really not infringing on your turf, don’t you agree?”
“No, this bed is my back-up and I want you off and I want you off now.”
“And you’re gonna make me move? Please, I weigh 80 lbs and you weigh 32 lbs.”
“I may be smaller than you, but I’m pretty feisty when you really piss me off. You’re all bark and no action. I’m not so much bark, but plenty action, so  move it.”
“I’ll tell Mom.”
“She already knows and she’s done nothing.”
“How wrong you are. Check out your side of her bed.”
“Oh, please, she’s put one of my beds on top of this intruder bed thinking I won’t know the difference. GET A GRIP.  I have great eyesight and better than nomral smell abillity, and I refuse to sleep on a bed that states it’s an orthoedic bed for older greyhounds. How insulting.”
“How did you know it was an orthpedic bed?”
“I looked over her shoulder when she was emailing people on how thrilled she was to find this bed. As far as I’m concerned, she can sleep on the damned thing and I’ll sleep on her bed.”
“This will never happen. I’m the only dog allowed on her bed, and I will make sure this routine stays in place. Don’t challenge me Beamer, ‘cos I’ll bust your chops and hurt you.”

I have to think about this. Although I’m much larger than Ice, he can get pretty aggressive if he feels he’s being pushed around and frankly, I’m not sure I could win the battle. Sure, I would injure the little guy, but the little guy could also injure me.  I’m not into pain, and Mom doesn’t need any vet bills, so I’m still strategizing on how to handle this situation.

So, Mom is working on the computer. I’m laying on Ice’s back-up bed watching Mom and wondering how is she going to resolve this protest. I know she’s aware of my disdain, but she is trying to ignore it, thinking that, come bed time, I will comply and sleep on this geriatric bed. Not gonna happen.

Greyhounds unite. Back me up here. Do you think I should sleep on the orthopedic bed covered with one of my favorite doggie beds, or should I continue my protest and sleep on Ice’s back-up bed knowing that he’s one feisty pooch and will not back down when his ire is up?

Place your bets as to who wins this war! Will Ice back down? Will Mom flex her Alpha authority and remove all beds but the ‘thing’ and force me to sleep on this thing?  If you were my Mom, what would you do? H E L P!



  1. Beamer
    Life should not be that complicated. Really.
    You don’t want Ice to kick your butt, right?
    Just try out this new bed. It might be really comfy. Give it a chance. I’ve been to your house and you do have an inordinate amount of dog bets. You’re lucky.
    Who knows? Maybe Ice will like this new bed.
    You know Glenda always wins. Humans are like that. She who buys the dog biscuits — wins.
    Have your Glenda take a photo of the new dog bed and we can post it here.

    September 2, 2009
    • beamergreyhound

      Momma Glenda doesn’t always win. I figured out a way to make her think that she won the game. I pretend that I don’t know that the ortho dog bed is hidden under one of the beds that smells only of me. I sleep on other doggie beds during the day: beds where I can see her working on the computer, just putzing around, or snoozing after my early morning doggie walk. But at night I am sleeping on my new bed. Have to admit, it’s comfy and supportive, but I’m not going to tell her that. So don’t let on Aunty Karyn. As far as life being complicated, just wait for my new blog ‘What a Summer.’ That’s complicated.

      Your fur nephew – Beamer.

      September 7, 2009

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