Greyhound Humor: Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride

Mama Karyn wanted to do something nice for me, but it backfired.

Here’s the story.

A few weeks ago, Sandee who has purple hair and 32 heart tattoos on her arms and is a long time friend came to visit. She visits twice a year. I have her trained because when she visits, she pets me for hours.

Anyway Mama Karyn had to go pick up her CSA west of the UA, she had a bright idea that I could go for a ride. She said, “Let’s take Lily for a ride. The only time she goes anywhere is to the vet. I want to give her a positive experience.”

So it was a Friday around 4:15 p.m. and we all piled into the car. I have a hard time getting in the car so that is why another person is necessary to sit in the back seat with me.

We get to our destination and Mama K. jumps out of the car leaving me with Sandee. I don’t like being left and I was very nervous especially since I couldn’t see Karyn. About 5 minutes later she comes back and I gave a good sigh of relief.

I forgot to tell you that this was a hot day like 95. Mama takes the route on busy 4th Avenue and the traffic is backed up. She says some bad words. After about four signals we turn left onto 6th Street and smoke starts pouring out from under the car hood.

Mama says, “WHAT THE F***!”

So she panics and turns down the first street she sees which is a one way street going the wrong way and parks the car. The hood of the car looks like a chimney. Some dude in a truck drives up and says the cops are out in full force and we’re going to be towed away.

Karyn freaks! She writes some note and puts in on the dashboard and we jump out of the car. She is acting like a mad woman and both Sandee and I are running to keep up. I have no idea where we’re going. The ground is hot and there are dogs and people everywhere.

Finally we go in a store and it’s cool inside. I am greeted by Lizzie and Leah at Silver Sea Jewelry Store. I am almost relieved but then I heard, “I’ll be back.” And she leaves the store. I already told you that I don’t like to be left. WHERE’S MY MAMA KARYN?

While she was gone, Sandee, Lizzie, and Leah tried to soothe me but I was too nervous. I ran laps around the store and behind the counters. Then Leah left. After what seemed like eternity, Karyn came back and said we have to go. I was so relieved that I finally drank some water.

We found Leah and I was supposed to jump in her car. I cannot jump in Mama’s car but I was nervous and tried. I missed and cried out. Karyn helped me. Whatever! I could stay in the back seat with my head on Karyn’s lap.

Leah drove us home. They all sat down and I got fed. I was so relieved to be home. Then they abruptly left. That’s okay I was glad to be home.

No place like home.

Love ya,  Lily, aka Drama Queen

(photo by Loren Dawn)